one word: firstdatebathroomanal
I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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