Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
Randomize
