I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Randomize
