There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
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