from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
mondays should just be called national damage control day
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
Randomize