plz talk dirty to me
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
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