I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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