Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
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