either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
True but thats because hes a fetus.
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
my liver is dry heaving
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
Randomize
