Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
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I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
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I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
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