we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
Randomize
