So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
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I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
Randomize