Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
