She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
It's shark week go big or go home
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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