that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
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