Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Randomize
