I swear she didn't look like that last week.
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
Randomize
