I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
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