Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
Randomize
