Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize
