My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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