Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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