i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
We got so high we made milksteak
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
Randomize
