Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
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