guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
did you just send me my own nude
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize