Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
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