Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
