I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
