My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
πππ what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
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