Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize
