everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
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