you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
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