idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
Randomize