Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
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