I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
