So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
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