I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
sarcasm needs its own font
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
OH MY GOD I AM DYING. AS I WAS TEXTING I JUST BUMPED INTO A MOTHER FUCKING DEER. I AM SHAKING
Wait...Literally? You hit a deer...with your body?!
I PHYSICALLY RAN INTO IT. I FELT ITS WEIRD HAIR AND I EVEN APOLOGIZED CAUSE IT DINDT REGISTER THAT IT WASNT A PERSON. MORTIFIED.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
