Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
Randomize
