We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
