He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
Randomize
