okay pat passed out under dana's car
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
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