Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
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