This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize
