just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
My liver is preforming stress tests.
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
Randomize
