I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
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