he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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