Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
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