It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
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