I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
Randomize
