It's Friday. Sex?
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
Randomize
