wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Randomize