11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
weddingsv make me drug and hornr
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
My lunch today consisted of going on the brewery tour with my boss. Free pretzels and two free beers.
I hate you.
To be fair, the beers are only 8 ounces each. So maybe you just kinda dislike me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
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