That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
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