And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
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