Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
Randomize
