I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
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