I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
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