I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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