She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
