it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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