First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize