Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
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