So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
Randomize
