What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
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