dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
Soap is not a condiment
You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize
