Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
