Who wears a wallet chain?!
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
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