he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
